The Cost of Our Malaise Part 2: Dropping the Act

If you tried even one of the small resets from the other day (experiencing the world for a few minutes without a screen or choosing the "long way" instead of the shortcut), you might have felt a strange bit of friction. It is the feeling of a rusted gear starting to turn again.

There is a second layer to this malaise we are all feeling. It is the exhaustion of performing, of seeking instant gratification, and of having FOMO for the smallest things. We have spent so much time presenting a version of ourselves to an invisible audience that we have become caught up in the drama of it all. The ordinary just won't do anymore. Instead, we seek longer lashes, lip fillers and BBLS, food trends instead of nutrition and impossible travel itineraries, breaking the bank just to say we did that!

We use the same script: "I’m good, just busy!" We post the highlight reel of the vacation but leave out the nightmare 13-hour transit or the bout of Bali Belly. We tell ourselves there is no fun in showing the mess. But this performance is exactly what is making "peopling" so hard. It is lonely to be so regulated by your phone that you experience your life more as a witness than as someone truly immersed in it.

If we want to feel human again, we have to start telling truer stories. These do not need to be big or dramatic. They just need to be honest and messy.

How do we unhitch from the performance?

Ditch the Script

The next time someone asks how you are doing, try to bypass the automatic "I'm fine" or "I'm busy." You do not have to pour your heart out but try sharing one small thing that is actually on your mind or a challenge you are currently navigating. It is amazing how quickly the atmosphere changes when one person decides to be real.

Post Something Random

 If you are on social media, try posting something that does absolutely nothing for your "image." Post a photo of a dead leaf, a quote that has been rattling around your head, or a question you are genuinely stuck on. Do not check for likes or comments. Just put it out there and hope for nothing in return.

Write it by Hand

There is something deeply satisfying about doodling, scribbling your name, or penning a note. Adding a hand-drawn heart or a tear drop for effect is a powerful form of self-expression that gets your creative brain in gear. Find a postcard or a scrap of stationery and write to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. Do not wait for a birthday or an algorithm to remind you they exist. Just share a tiny, specific memory. It tells them they are thought of, and it ensures they receive something tangible from your world.

When we stop pretending, we stop being so exhausted. By dropping the "script" and showing up as we actually are (flaws, questionable choices, and all), we start to dissolve that sense of estrangement. We realise that the person across from us is likely just as tired of the performance as we are.

These small acts of honesty are not just about us. They are about making the world feel a little safer for the next person to be honest too.

What comes next?

Once we have started to wake up our senses and speak our truth, the next step is to actually look at one another again. I am talking about moving beyond ourselves and starting to rebuild the "collective fortitude" that feels so broken right now.

In our final installment, we are going to look at Small Revolutionary Acts. These are not grand gestures. They are practical things we can do to reclaim our sense of community and belonging. 

What act of authenticity or honesty have you been practicing lately? Please share it with us in the comments below.