Delving to the beginning by GINGER Z
Let's take it a step back ....
When I moved to CT It was to get out of my comfort zone and become or do better for my2 ... I saw an opportunity, I applied...got it ... the way I got it was surreal ...
Another step back ....
Dad had passed on and he was my world. I knew he was far from perfect, but he had this heart, this care this openness - he didn’t judge, he didn't look at what u were but how you were with others ... he was a quiet man compared to my chaos ...he was a man of few words but when he said or how he said my name...would stop me dead in my tracks...
Anyway, I digress …
Another step back ...
Gosh this is gonna be a series of back and forth so bear with me ...
I studied in CT and here I was blessed to meet a woman of strength courage stamina and feisty as hell .. I call her my mother ... not biological but if anyone wrapped me in their love and molded me it was her ... so I gave birth we took myA to see his CT Nani ... holidays she would fly over ...she followed me and visited me and was there ...she kept her mouth for lots of things she saw but knew I was stupid to rock boats ....
Another step back ...
My mummy .... what a woman! She knew what she wanted and she went after it ... it was in her I learnt perseverance I learnt to stand up for myself to speak out and to fight back ....my mummy loved my2 ...with all of her heart ..she loved kids ... she made sure my home my cupboards my2 were always sorted...and mind u she didn't work but boxes used to be sent if they were not coming to see me ...
A baby step
My Ma ...her hands cooked and her advices were beyond her years ...strangely the earliest memory of her I have is always running in her room dragging her with me ...her laying down flat on the bed raising her legs and swinging me up and down... I think I got too fat for her to carry on... her Fatihaas were well known and at Meelads she would recite beautiful Naats. She lived a full life ...
My steps
From F to R to S, to another S to A,J, I to and N, and M to Y to my Zee and Zah to a T …
Actually, it's all of the alphabets over and over … you know ...
Women have shaped my being so it isn't about who stayed it's about the lesson they left behind .... each of us are so full of courage and bravery... every day is a battle
But we don't let it get us down .. I look back and looking back is important to me because it's where I get my inspiration it's where I open my eyes and look ...they were ordinary In an extraordinary way ....and my daddy ...bless his heart
My Foi ...
You came to us and stayed and. It was the best time EVER ...I learnt to swear In Gujarati but also ur hands taught me lovingly how to cook easy ...you made coming home after school fun and u always had something to say .... I thought I had time .. I thought I would come home and see you one last time ... May u be elevated to the highest stage in jannah myFoi ... you are.loved and missed and now live in my duas.
This is a hard one ... my Aidah
Where to start! From the very first day u stepped into Serasa we knew you were gonna be fun crazy ....but what I didn't know that u and I would eat together drive to school together share our lives and become best friends ...you wanted to be sisters I wanted to be ur best friend...we fought argued giggled and held hands as we walked to class ...no one would dare try to say anything because we had each other's back ... sabr zoh sabr ... your words echo still... my stupid heart doesn't understand doesn't understand what happened or why it happened this way ... on that fateful day in January u got sick so sick that u didn't wake up enuf to be you ... and you fought thru every infection and every cough u even started to breathe on ur own again.... my Aidah how do I say goodbye ... how ... 24/7 damn girl u and dates...you won't let me forget ... u left ... u gave up ... when I got the call I was like no she wouldn't leave me... we have more nonsense to do more trouble to get into ... and as I walked into that room ur cold face touched mine and all I could do was in automatic ... and prepare you for your new abode ... oh my Aidah u have touched my heart with your kindness and generosity... my life will never ever be the same .. thank you for loving the flawed me thank you for being my biggest supporter thank u for holding onto me when I didn't know how stand ... you chose me so many times and although u were definitely not a hugger u held my hand ... u found me ...my duas are fervent and true ... you know you know you know... as u would also say ... on the other side we meet ... I await ur hands again ...
This is just a snatch ... a snatch of what is yet to come ...
My journey has twists and turns - ups and downs and lessons
Join me and share some of these moments that shaped me into me
And I am ... Ginger Z
So many admirable women ❤️ Alhumdulillah
ReplyDeleteDearest Beautiful, thru these times our hugs are tighter, hands gripped ever firm, holding on to one another with love
ReplyDeleteCan feel your emotions and ties to people...that's what you... u tie us in knots with u....beautiful to read
ReplyDeleteDave
We don't even know how strong we are until we are forced to bring that hidden strength forward. In times of love, tragedy, war, but mainly necessity, people do amazing things. The human capacity for survival and moreso renewal is awesome.
ReplyDeleteDear Cg Zee, such a special tribute to our wonderful Cg Dk Aidah and also to all the wonderful souls you are destined to cross path with.. I can feel the heavy emotions when reading them and cry buckets when I got to the part of Cg Dk Aidah.. I missed her ðŸ˜
ReplyDeleteI was listening to a song by Maher Zain ‘So Soon’ as the background and really losing it, tomorrow will be the second Friday of her passing 😢
Cg Dk Aidah was a one of a kind person with a lovely bubbly persona and a kind warm soul who always see the goodness in everyone.. she breezed through the day with her positive aura, every now and then, never failed to drop by our rooms reminding us to take care of ourselves then left with her cheerful laughter trailing behind her.. she was a good listener, always give sound advises with her soft sing-song voice.. Her working station was never short of treats for her students, always trying to find ways in helping them to her very best.. behind that cheery sunny smile we know that she hid her tears and pain well 😠I wish we have more time with you 😢
Have a rest my dear friend, you are now free of any pain, able to move freely, waiting for us to join you in the hereafter inshaa Allah 🌹
I can only admire you on this journey of finding your purpose. It is one of joy, sadness, experience and beautiful memories.
ReplyDeleteThrough it all you would touch the hearts of many and many would have touched your heart. Life is a journey, enjoy the ride
Ahhh 🥰
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story ❤️
You are brave
ReplyDeleteYou are strong
You are the song every bird still sings
You are the breeze on a crisp summer's day
May Allah keep you happy....
Hugs Z for allowing us to peek through the window of your soul. I echo commenter Ms Serenity’s words in wishing we had more time with Cg Idah. This year has been a difficult one for many of us, with so many shocks that have left a hole in our hearts. We’re all grieving/coping in our own ways; some of us are still in disbelief how fast certain events have happened and we’re having difficulty keeping up. I cannot talk about her good deeds without crying - the feelings are still too raw; for my own sanity, I have to move forward. She who has left such a positive imprint in our memories that even her first students (when she first started teaching) still remember her fondly. It makes a lot of us aware of our own mortality; it’s a huge reminder to be kind to each other, to appreciate & cherish our loved ones while we still can. 💜🪷
ReplyDeleteThank u for sharing this window into your life and sharing your medley of emotions and relationships.Keep going.
ReplyDeleteHaju
Lovely and emotional tribute to so many special people in your life. You are a special soul who has touched many lives including mine. Love you
ReplyDeleteI guess this is what makes the hereafter special... The people waiting for us in the other side and the people who will join us when we get there... Coz we're all heading there eventually.
ReplyDeleteSo beautifully written, Ginger. I am touched, inspired, saddened, uplifted by your reflections. Thank you for sharing. You are indeed a special person, I feel blessed to know you. Thank you for you.
ReplyDeletefrom a line of strong woman, gave birth to a an equally strong, brave Ginger Z.. fid dhunys wal akhirah
ReplyDelete