Bras, bosoms & babes by nariman

Ah, Boobs!

The part of a woman's body that gets more attention than the average motorist at a South African robot (traffic light). Attention that is thoroughly enjoyed during moments of intimacy, but unwanted in the middle of a conversation or in the normal course of a day.
"I'm up here!" will flitter through your mind when your cleavage region appears to be getting more eye contact than your eyes (I know there are two of them, still). Dressing modestly can alleviate concerns in this regard, and as such can be a good argument for covering up, however, how we choose to dress, is our choice entirely.

As women we have a complicated relationship with our breasts, loving them or loathing them from one day to the next: sometimes we want them bigger, or smaller; a bit rounder & perkier, or less lopsided…Or more like someone else's, a best friend, a neighbour, Salma Hayek...

During puberty we face concerns with regards to the age at which our breasts start developing, we draw comparisons with our peers and feelings of insecurity sometimes set in. The term "late bloomer" has been offered as an explanation by many moms to awkward Gen-X teens worried about their development. In western countries, our value as women is so connected to our bodies that we often measure ourselves against unrealistic beauty standards set by others, leaving us feeling insecure, unlovable and unworthy.  What we look like is in the foreground of our self-perception, preceding spirit, soul, personality and even intelligence. We need only consider the billion-dollar beauty, wellness, fitness, and diet industries to understand how pervasive and destructive this is in adding to the prevalence of mental health issue, anxiety and deep dissatisfaction with self and life overall for modern women.

Our lifelong love-hate relationship with the bra begins early on in our teens. Having your first 'Training Bra' is seen as a rite of passage in many cultures. We make a big deal about it: "With great breasts come great responsibility!" Far from just supporting breasts, bras have become feminine icons with cultural significance. In the 1960's, women’s liberation gained momentum. The idea of ‘burning bra's’ was not a frivolous notion, but it was synonymous with the desire of woman to escape the shackles of a patriarchal society.
As woman we have choice, and we should follow the dictates of our own hearts.

My heart tells me, if I am going to be wearing something restrictive that I would rather not be wearing, it had better feel pretty darn fabulous and soft on my skin. And of course, on wearing one, I should instantly be mistaken for Salma's sister. And if it takes a century old invention to help me to do that, I am willing to spend a few dollars to keep my girls happy.

The importance of choosing the right-fitting, good bra cannot be underestimated. We all have that special bra that makes you feel confident and gets your mojo going. It gives you that extra boost and makes everything pop.

And that's just great.

However,…

And this is a biggie for me, more and more lately I have begun questioning their purpose in my life.

Ah, the freedom that comes with questioning and outgrowing societal BS.

One of the perks of being older is freeing yourself from conventional norms. And by choosing to discard these torture devices for the sake of comfort, I am finally free!  No thanks, Mary Phelps Jacob you can keep your 1914 invention. It morphed into something quite different in the 21^st century, it became a vehicle for promoting bosoms: their shape, the roundness, voluptuousness, the lines and curves. It accentuates, lifts and does much more than provide cover and support!

So, after great deliberation, and many instances of ripping them off my body in sheer frustration the minute I walk through my doorway, I’m ditching it in my twilight years, choosing to be more Marge Simpson’s mom than Salma’s sister. And I am doing so without the fear of  drawing unwanted attention. I’m all for the wearing of comfy clothes, abayas, cloaks and loose floor-length dresses, all good for free movement and dancing.

I’m practicing a more holistic approach to being and I feel more whole when the focus shifts from body to heart, mind and spirit. Afterall, it's the size of your heart that matters most, not your breasts. The heart gives you your strength, your fortitude and your resilience. Your belief resides here, and the nur (glow) flows from here, not a push-up bra or a $100 pot of anti-aging serum.

It is the heart and soul that sees you through, long after your breasts have headed South.
The age-old question: "Are you a breast man, or a leg man?" is often directed at men.
Me, I'm really glad I'm married to a heart and soul kinda guy.