For Zainab
I have been blessed with just 1 sibling, a sister!
One only because she is so
spectacular.
And arguably I got the best one…
Zainab.
This is an ode to my big sis, my tietie, my very first and forever best friend.
Diaz Girls.
She and I shared a bedroom growing up, mind you it was out of choice. We had twin beds in shades of pink and we stayed together like that until she married her Giebs and moved out. 21 years is a long time to share a small space when there is a spare room, and so early on I cemented my belief in the collaboration and power of women. We were opposites, yet complimentary. I am quiet and she can speak for days, even in her sleep ha-ha.
She was sooo cool in her teenage years. These were the days of teeny tiny jogger shorts, and kennetjie and bok-bok, of camping in tents at Kogelbaai and falling over tent ropes after late night strolls...Of tennis in 9th Avenue in short white skirts, and netball on a Saturday afternoon at William Herbert...And daddy dropping us off at the City Fair in Athlone, and mummy staying home worrying till we're back and dad crying on the stoep from relief at 1 am... and house parties in Rooikrans Avenue, and home visits to dad's friends with excitable teenage sons...
But the coolest thing still is that she brought along mousy, grumpy me to all her cool kid's activities. She also took me to the drive-in with her and Giebs even when I was moping
and unpleasant. She refused to be put off by my moody teenage self and dragged
me along wherever she went, forever her plus-1. I recognize now how she kept me
safe and allowed me to grow into myself in a supportive, loving way. She was instrumental in waking up the brave heart within me.
I pray that every young
girl is so lucky!
Anyone who knows my sister recognizes that she is a rare beauty (inside & out), unusually stylish and eternally graceful. What very few people know is that she has a spitfire brain, she was,
and still is an A-candidate. And she is fierce about her loved ones: family
especially, but also friends. Zainab has friendships that lasted for more than
5 decades, and she remembers everything, and everyone. She remembers the names,
the faces of everyone young and old. That is such a great quality to have. And
she loves hanging out with our elders, not begrudgingly, but well and truly
enjoying their company.
She returned to her studies in her 50s after leaving her UCT
Bachelor of Science Degree Course to get married at 21 and raise her 3
children. Then she decided in her 50’s to return to her student days, and after
receiving her Honours in Psychology with Honours, she is next attempting her
Master’s in Psychology at 61. And all this whilst raising 3 graduates and 5
grandchildren and moving in silence like a boss babe would. She is the original
OG, fiercely strong and protective and like a tree that bends and bows but never breaks, she handles
the full onslaught of life with an uncanny faith and firm belief that everything
is as it should be, and that it will all be okay. She is the epitome of a
matriarch. Zainab, Mother of the Believers, leads her family on their journey
through life, ever present but never possessive, selfless and our biggest
cheerleader. She is leading the way in fashion (ala nuunconceptspace / zism), in health and
wellbeing (Castor Oil skin care secrets have been shared widely), and nutrition
(yes, we sometimes air fry our samosas).
She leads us in prayer for them all at difficult, trying
times. Battle gear on, her armour polished to a blinding shine, she stands her
ground, her prayers and war cry fervent and loud enough to summon angels, and
raw enough to strike fear at the core of demons. Her 5 grandbabies are the
realization of her dreams. Her promise is unspoken, and enduring: "I'm
here!" And with her army behind her spanning generations (me, Aish, Leils,
Sham, Shana, Soraya, Zebbie, Galiema, Feroza, Aunties, and so many others
included) she steps forward and screams in the face of adversity, "I
am here, and I am not alone!" Steadfast in her belief she soldiers onward,
fear cast aside, banished and beaten. And we pray across continents, without interruption
for them to be safe and saved. Like the time M&M fell ill, or when our
triplets were born prematurely and for 6 weeks, we prayed without pause, or for
our boys and girls moving through the world finding their purpose…
Like a phoenix she keeps rising stronger, more determined,
unafraid; more herself than ever before.
It took her 61 years to get here.
She has paid her dues, did so willingly.
She has lived through heartache and happiness, loyalty and
betrayal, laughter and loneliness and all the paradoxes of this crazy life...
Along the way she laughed and cried, lost her temper, her car keys… but her values and her sense of self...Never!
She’s slips on tiles,
and bumps into curbs and sends us endless memes and reels and has become an
expert at zoom chats and loves sending voice notes (I will don my headphones
for her messages no matter how busy I am) for she comes with love, and laughter
and is endlessly entertaining… and keeps me connected to the world!
She has battled:
For her place...hard-earned!
For her life...hard won.
She rose for all of us for we are always there with her like standards carrying her battle flag. She summons us, and we are ready to charge at adversity, at negativity, at the heart of darkness with the force of 1000 brave hearts.
And in that moment, we are all victorious!
I thank God for women: this sisterhood, this sainthood, this
motherhood, this band of woman of which I am a part.
To this woman that I share my life's journey with: you are my
strength, my resolve and my grace. You save me in a million ways every day.
Mummy and Daddy would’ve been proud.
I am proud and eternally grateful I alone get to call you my
tietie.
Happy birthday, Zainab soon soon we will be sitting on the stoep with our caftans and our greying hair watching our grandbabies play, surrounded by love InshaAllah.
And Aish and Leils better be combing our hair and putting our doekies on straight!
Your baby sister, Nariman
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