Regrets by GingerZ


I don’t have regrets.  Now don’t get me wrong, I have moments of where I should have handled situations better but regrets nah.  When I think of those moments, I get this butterfly effect in my tummy and I used to change my thoughts.  Now I let it slide through me, my ostrich mentality phase is over – well maybe not for the current moments but for many of them that have passed.  I couldn’t face them mention them admit to them – but in order for me “grow” I need to.

So when these moments smack me doosh in my face – I try to say ok – let’s try – but in all honesty I don’t want to – those moments show me in a time where I was …. Simply put …. Dumb.  And I don’t want to ever go there - I don’t want to relive – I can’t put some things right !

What I can do – is I have no clue.  It makes me want to be better - to try harder to fix what’s ahead of me than to look back and feel ……….. I don’t even know the word.  But yes, it has affected me – it does make me feel like I want to hide.

Hide where – this is not me hiding from others – it’s my thoughts – it lives in me – so ostrich mentality I will have for some of them and for others that are not as intense …. I will deal.  I have said some sorrys to those – a little too late I know but I needed to make a start. 

Starts are good – it means I am moving forward.  Strangely enough that gooloogooloo feeling doesn’t go away… or maybe I am just hungry?


Comments

Unknown said…
Thank you for sharing yourself with us. Coming to this way of thinking about life is so liberating.
imagiNari said…
I love this topic, so relevant to us all xoxo
Zee said…
No regrets!! I completely agree. Thank you for sharing
SYFF said…
You’re open and honest about your personal struggles with handling past situations, and that vulnerability is compelling. It’s inspiring to see that you're not aiming for perfection but progression. I appreciate you and Love you Z..
Fiz said…
"Pobody's nerfect" - quote from The Good Place tv series. Thank you for your honesty. Let's embrace our imperfections & weaknesses and let's each each of us work on our own issues as we all have them. It's good not to punish ourselves for our imperfections as I usually do in my own head - it's not good as it can self-destructive. It's so easy for us to pass the blame, pass the buck, pinpoint others for their own weakness and issues - it's so much harder for us to look at ourselves and to work on ourselves. "The first step towards recovery is acceptance." That's another quote I like to live by. There are many things in myself and about myself that I don't talk about but that I know I need to work on. There might be those busybodies whom are greedy to know about your weakness so they can feel better about themselves and say they can relate but not really, when they actually hear what your issues truly are. And then there are those self-appointed therapists who believe they can diagnose your issues and can often cause more harm than good. Some others say things that soothe your soul just to make you feel better but they don't actually help you with your issues. Good advice I have heard is to turn to God and to work on our issues "sky & earth" - or "langit & bumi" in Malay. That means not just spiritually but try getting treatments from well established medical practices too such as from professional therapists or medical doctors. I feel I am about to go off on a tangent and I have to get back to my work duties in a few minutes so I will have to love you & leave you here. "We're all in this together".
Fiz said…
Being raw is not easy.
Anonymous said…
Such a beautiful acceptance ❤️ Alhumdulillah
Lia said…
Ostrich mentality, so very relatable. The past is in the past, but the past, it stays in all of us.
Sham said…
As you speak of these moments and experiences you are empowering yourself! You are also encouraging others to face their “challenges” and to take that step into small or big changes. Watching you write these posts and face your experiences makes me believe that nothing can stop you! Keep soaring girl! Pasts will always be there but use it to step forward!
Anonymous said…
To GingerZ: I admire your honesty in matters that affect us all.
Thank you for speaking about this delicate matter - I can relate! And then some general insights from a Neuro Coach: Did you know that guilt feelings centre on the individual's perceptions that they cannot manage their life in a responsible manner. The experiences of the individual centre on the acceptance of guilt for everything that goes wrong, the feeling that punishment is deserved and the domination of guilt feelings. Such a person cannot forgive themselves for their mistakes and condemn and blame themselves continuously. The opposite pole of feelings of guilt is position. So, if you don't feel you have a position in life (mother, daughter, wife, work colleague, and so forth) then your guilt feelings come into play. Also, guilt feelings are one of the aspects of your self-perception, together with a lack of self-worth and inner insecurity. And most people dissociate from these feelings. They pretend they are not there. Unfortunately, it takes a lot of energy to tell yourself constantly: I am not guilty; I am good enough; I have a place in life and I mean something to someone. To tell yourself that constantly also doesn't make a difference because these are values that are ingrained in your being. We call this emotional loading. It drains you of energy. If you are at a good place in life and your values are at a balance then these feelings come naturally and you don't have to tell yourself all the time.
Pampoen said…
Perfectly Imperfect!!!...Stepping Stones...Thank you my Lampoen for sharing and reminding me and others of our uniqueness and us all being Perfectly Imperfect!!!..Your openness & willingness in sharing your life stories are always encouraging and reminders to embrace who we are and once again all being Perfectly Imperfect !!!Human Beings...The Raw with the Cooked 🥹 Love 🥰you lots like Jellytots & to the max🤗 like Niknax😉😜
Anonymous said…
So real and heartfelt. I have yet to meet a woman so strong and resilient. So have surfaced strong and proud alhamdulillah!.
Wafaa said…
Gooloo gooloo we are all growing, in our own beautiful ways
Anonymous said…
My dear friend your feelings are universal.No one can claim to be free of uncomfortable moments and situations. It is in coming to terms with it that brings peace.May Allah help us in this journey.
Haju
Outsider said…
Nicely said. Again saying what's in ur heart, but it will resonate with ur close circle. Lessons to be learnt. In life you do things, you live life.
Regret is a feeling of disappointment or even remorse over past actions/choices.

Lots of reflection, maybe on missed "opportunities", mistakes or even unmet expectations.
Reflecting on our past is natural and important for personal growth.
Learning from our experiences is vital for forward positive growth whereas dwelling just consumes time and stunts personal development.

People meet, some people fall in love, some stay Fallen😀 in love, not everyone, or everything works out for the best.

People marry, people unmarry.

People are happy, people are unhappy.

That is life.

I personally have looked back thousands of times and wished/hoped differently .

In the end I realise that it's difficult when things are going mostly poorly and in these mostly difficult, often lonely times it's best not to think .

Some of my most fulfilling feats have stemmed from these moments. Success and failure have provided valuable insights and made me wiser.

Reading your little* insights, as I call them, remind every1 here that life is a continuous journey, offering great opportunities all the time. Opportunities to grow and achieve and to engage in the here, the now, the future.

Everytime I read your blog messages I see lots of hints of gratitude amongst everything else on there.

Embrace this journey, learn from your past, seize the moments, create a life of purpose and fulfillment. Keep it up
Waheeda said…
I remember a happy always smiling n chirpy young woman who loved life n its unfolding life challenges n changes. So to say regrets after coming this far....nahh.. alhamdulillah
Yasmeen said…
It is okay to have ostrich mentality, we all do it from time to time. Moving forward that is the brave you are doing. Continue being the brave, strong and relentless person you are.
Anonymous said…
Thanks for sharing this maam, life is not easy sometimes we can do the wrong moves and we need to accept our mistakes and we can say we learn from our mistakes. We need to think positive and look forward for the better.

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