Gentle men

Dear gentlemen, loosen those belts and listen up.

It’s tough out here, I know. Modern dating feels like a battlefield of ghosting, swiping, and endless “situationships” with people who want the perks without paying the piper. But here’s the truth: the kind of man worth being has always been the same: strong, reliable, present. The problem isn’t who you are, it’s what (and who) you’re chasing.

And let’s be clear: trying to “understand” women? A losing game, my friend. Isn’t it wiser to stand in awe of the pyramids than to waste your life trying to unravel and decipher their allure and their mystery? You’re not equipped to handle the complexity of a woman when you’re still using a 3-in-one shampoo to wash your hair, your body, and God help us, your dishes on occasion.

Your idea of “making the bed” is throwing back the covers and tossing the cushions in the general vicinity of the bed. You still don’t get the purpose of scatter cushions. And by the time you’ve stumbled to the mirror to wash the crust out of your eyes, your woman has made breakfast, done her hair, applied her make-up, and answered twenty emails, whilst getting the kids ready for the day!

So here’s the truth: enjoy her. Be humble that she wants to share her life (and her) bed with you. 

And know this, she doesn’t think she’s better than you; she just knows you, intuitively. She works around your moods and your ego without you even noticing. That’s not competition, it’s grace and love. 

Forget 6-Packs and 6 Figures

Forget the idea that you have to be some swooning rom-com hero with a six-pack and a yacht. Women don’t need Shakespeare quotes or hot-air balloons, they need you to show up. Not just on dates, but in life. Be the man who can reset the Wi-Fi, make a mean taco, carry (and pay for) the damn groceries, and change a tyre without whining.

Real romance is care when she’s sick, or just sick & tired, listening when she vents, and being dependable in the small things. It’s not flashy, but it’s solid. And solid wins every time.

Be Vanilla

Stop trying to be “mysterious” and “unpredictable.” That’s just code for unreliable. Be vanilla. Yes, vanilla: simple, versatile, dreamy. Vanilla pays his bills on time, respects his mother without being a mama’s boy, and shows up when needed. Vanilla is consistent, predictable, and lip-smackingly good.

Women don’t want chaos, they want stability. And there is nothing sexier than a man at the sink, apron on, washing dishes. That’s when you get grabbed from behind, squeezed real tight...and yes, dammit, there will be cupping.

Don't be a crybaby

Listen carefully: no woman is signing up to be your therapist, your maid, your ATM, or your mother. If you ever use the words “50/50,” make a U-turn and voetsek. If she wants to, she will...but you must shush.

And if you’ve got more baggage than the Dubai luggage carousel, nope. Modern women travel light...it’s get up and go. 

Any immaturity you’re clinging to, or habits that drain the people around you? Fix them before you go chasing someone else’s time and heart.

A partner is meant to add value, to show up whole, not half-baked. Otherwise, you’re not ready.

Crèche Is Closed

Stop with the games! It reeks of insecurity!

Text her back. Or better yet, just text. Call when you say you will. Make the damn plan instead of “seeing where things go.” Playing it cool is just another way of saying “I’m not that serious.” Women see through that.

You want to stand out? Respect her time. Be intentional. The men who win aren’t the smooth talkers, they’re the ones who make a woman feel safe, seen, and secure. 

And having a great sense of humour, well that tickles and tantalises.

Moving On

The old version of love and relationships? Receiving an upgrade, and it’s bloody time.

The world is shaky, unpredictable, often cruel. So we need our men unshakeable, reliable, and kind-hearted. What matters isn’t fantasy (save that for the bedroom) it’s adaptability. Love is two people choosing to face the chaos together, again and again.

So here’s your roadmap, gents: listen attentively, respond when called upon. Be useful. Be reliable. Be present. Stop chasing shiny distractions, and start being the steady force someone can trust.

Oh, and feed her!

Now pour yourself a drink, close Instagram, and repeat after me:

“I don’t need to prove anything. I just need to show up. The rest will follow.”

And remember: a man in the kitchen scores in the bedroom - every - single - time.