RETHINKING ROMANCE

Dear reader, take off those offending Spanx and listen up. I’m about to spit some truths, and it might sting a little. Chasing princes, poets, and Peter Pans... well, that's just a waste of time, when what you really need is a man who knows how to reset the Wi-Fi, cook a curry, and unclog the drains without calling in backup.

You don’t need a princess, you need a man who isn’t afraid to get his hands and his mind dirty.

Fairy tales are for toddlers. You don’t need “the one”... you need the one who shows up. And no, not just for a date, but for life. The man who calls when he says he will, who actually arrives on time (without that "running late" text every damn time), and who can change a tyre without Googling “How to.” Forget candlelit dinners or sunset walks along the beach in Camps Bay, romance lives in the mess and the mundane. It's soup when you're sick, take-out when you're on your period, and listening to your work gripes without getting verergd/irritated. Grand gestures are cute, but reliability... reliability is sexy.

As is the man with bed hair and glasses staring down at you disapprovingly for carrying in all the grocery bags when he could be flexing for you.

V for Vanilla

Vanilla is the sweet spot. Vanilla is basic, but it goes with everything. Vanilla doesn’t post thirst traps with “wondering" or "wandering" captions. Vanilla has a steady job, a clean car, and enough Singapore Airlines miles to get you upgraded. Vanilla is the guy who doesn’t flinch when you toss tampons in the cart, who makes a killer fry-up on Friday mornings, and who chats with your auntie and the Grab driver without missing a beat. Vanilla isn’t boring... it’s versatile. Fireworks fizzle, darling... a fireplace lasts all winter.

P is for Partner, not Problem

Repeat after me: you are not his therapist, his mother, or his cheerleader. Stop collecting men like broken toys and convincing yourself you can fix them. If he’s messy, rude, or can’t spell “commitment” without breaking into hives, well, he is not for you. A partner should add to your life, not deplete it like your ex did with your fridge. If he’s a problem, he’s not a partner. Period.

Real life is the new playground

Put that phone down! A man who wants you is with you. He will make plans. He will not leave you staring at three dots like it’s a Netflix thriller. He’s not “busy.” He’s not “playing it cool.” He’s just not that interested. And you deserve better than decoding a limp “WYD” at 3am.

And if he’s lurking on your stories or creeping your status, well that’s bait, darling...don’t bite.

Moving On

The old story of love is a comforting myth. But let’s face it... it ain’t working. I’m not here for "forever." I’m here for intensity, impermanence, and a love that’s rekindled day by day.

Because permanence is an illusion. The only thing real is now. So maybe love isn’t about securing a future, but about choosing the present, again and again. Forget “forever.” A stronger vow is... "I choose you today. And if tomorrow comes, I’ll choose you again.”

Love isn’t about filling a void... it’s about mutual recognition. It’s alive. It adapts. And for this new kind of love, you need partners who are flexible, fearless, and ready for the ride. Not maybe-babe, half-assed, honey-mouthed, weak-minded dingbats...

Because when the world goes sideways (and it will, darling) you’ll want the man who can spark a fire, forage for food, and keep you laughing when the lights (and the Wi-Fi) go out.

Now pour yourself something delish, rip open those crisps, delete Tinder, and repeat after me:

“I know what I want... it’s the one who shows up, not the one who shows off.”

And remember, darling... a man who can’t make up a bed, has no business in yours! And if he ain't working, nothing works. And if he doesn't love himself, he won't know how to love you either.

Now, let's get our hands dirty because we all know there is nothing pretty about love!