Spring Cleaning

There comes a moment when you realise you no longer want to live with the same old patterns on repeat.

I reached that moment when I recognised that I no longer want to activate defense mechanisms, let old, unnamed hurt weigh me down, or overthink myself into exhaustion. I don’t want to live braced for impact. On the edge of fear and anxiety, with depression one setback away from taking the wheel... I don’t want to keep reacting from wounds that were never given the chance to heal.

I want to choose something different now.

Real healing, not the pretend kind for other’s benefit, but because I want to live the final chapter of my life at peace and free. I’m talking about the kind of work that asks you to sit with your pain instead of escaping it. The kind that gently confronts your default responses and whispers, there’s another way to be.

I am choosing to discard patterns that no longer serve me and step into relationships as someone whole, aware, and emotionally responsible. I am choosing happiness and joy as daily practices, not rare rewards. I am choosing not to be a martyr to my own story or a prisoner of my ego. I want to be a safe space for the people I encounter, someone who responds with attentiveness instead of operating out of fear... fear of not being good enough...

This doesn’t mean I will never feel anxious, sad, or triggered again. It means I’m committed to meeting those feelings with compassion instead of shame. I want a regulated nervous system, not a suppressed one. I want to be free of anxiety, yet still human enough to feel deeply. I want to be happy to be sad when sadness is honest. I want to choose joy instead of self‑pity.

The old excuses no longer apply.

And I welcome into my life those who are also doing their inner work, people who show up imperfectly but intentionally, people who are struggling yet conscious, people who are learning self‑appreciation instead of self‑abandonment.

Because healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in brave, honest connection.

This Isn’t Cleaning House

We often talk about “cleaning house” as if growth means clearing parts of ourselves deemed undesirable and dusty.

Spring cleaning the soul means sitting in the discomfort, riding the waves of sadness or anger without intellectualising it, and accepting every single part of your make-up, and then releasing those that don’t serve the version of yourself you are working on becoming.

Nothing true about you needs to be discarded, only those thoughts and behaviours you've learned in order to survive environments you’ve outgrown.

Daily Practice

Healing isn’t a decision you make once. It’s a daily commitment to yourself.

It looks like: pausing instead of reacting, breathing instead of bracing, reflecting instead of projecting, apologising instead of defending, and resting instead of retreating into silence.

Growth rarely feels dramatic. Most days it feels quiet, almost invisible. But transformation is happening every time you choose differently.

Setting Simple Rhythms

During Morning Prayer/Meditation

Set your intention.

At Midday Prayer/Meditation

Notice your patterns. Notice your triggers, but don’t overthink it or over-analyse, instead sit in your feelings and breath, do Istighfar, and ask for guidance and allow the magic to unfold.

Evening Prayer/Meditation

Find joy in being. And gratitude for your connection to God, your family and your friends ... in that order.

Rewriting Your Inner World

The deepest shift happens when your soul is at the forefront, not your mind.

You don’t need to earn your wholeness. It has always been there, waiting beneath the noise.

Who's with me

I will sit with myself. I will meet my patterns with awareness. I will choose kindness over defense. I will say a big “f-you” to fear. I will put my ego in its place. And I will finally let my soul lead.

And if you feel this stirring in your own heart as well, you know it is time ... welcome, my soul kin.