Loneliness set in...by GingerZ
No matter how comfortable you are in your own skin and how much u tell yourself its ok ... it is to a point!
This break away from my normal reality turned out to be surprisingly - one of the best aways I have had ....
From meeting new faces to places and to trusting myself more ... I have come to realise to put it bluntly... I am on my own.
I cannot expect mine to put their lives on hold to humor me .. and I have done well ... I expect nothing and get me in return.
I tell myself all the things I need to hear ... all the frills around it to make me feel better .... it carries me for a while ....
Reminding oneself of oneselfs bravery and to be courageous always- is hard work ...everything relies on u ... a wrong turn ... a different tap ...
Has led me to new adventures ... and I am sticking to that .... when I was at my "worst" lost - it was then I found my strength to push a little more - to tell myself retrace ... keep moving forward.
Big girl panties on ... these coming months - its gonna be hard for those 104 secondary teachers including myself ...
I choose to be kind, less venting, minus the negativity and to trust the Almighty with whats good for me and us all.
The end of a chapter doesn't mean the end .... I have no idea what it means but what I do know .. I am grateful for those messages and calls .... it pulls me thru & its in these pull thrus - I get by.
And for u who answer my call - I dont call anyone very often - everyone is busy- but if I have, and if u answered - know that, u have saved me from falling apart - I value and appreciate you...
Loosing my fone for the 4th time this holiday.... I've learnt it will be where I left it ... it normally is ... lesson almost learnt ...
Embracing this journey- alone - breathing- its gonna be ok !
Thats our bravest girl ever, its because of you, I am no longer scared of thr world
ReplyDeleteTrue
ReplyDelete🙏
DeleteWith God all things are possible. . . The new ( teaching) chapter is in His hands. 🙏
ReplyDeleteThanks so much
DeleteEverything will be just fine...you have done amazingly thus far....so.....you will be ok....let the Almighty lead you...you are not alone......
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DeleteThis is why I love you my Cyst. You are brave even when you are hurting. So many of us admire you . Remember even when you feel you have no1 . You never alone
ReplyDeleteThank you💚
DeleteThere’s a quiet strength in what you’ve written. I can see growth and self reflection is behind every line.
ReplyDeleteThe way you lead with gratitude and kindness, even in the hard moments is truly commendable. A great read!
Thanks so much xx
DeleteYou know, now that there’s an expiration date on our time here, I’ve started worrying less about the day-to-day stresses and focusing more on the positive things I know I’m going to miss. So now we have a chance to embrace the change and making the most of it.
ReplyDeleteGrateful xx
DeleteTaking one step at a time and learning to just pause and breathe matters. Nothing is set in concrete and Gods timing is exactly that, Gods timing so trust the process and the path wherever it leads you.
ReplyDeleteAlhamdullilah
DeletePraying that your tomorrow's are more fulfilling than your today's and that a new beginning will bring more joys.
ReplyDeleteAmeen ameen
DeleteWe are never on our own, we have the best with us. Closer to us than the jugular vein. He says call upon me and I will respond. He is with me at my worst and accepts me with my flaws. And if He has deprived us of something, then He will replace it with better - often with Himself! So yes I may feel lonely but never alone.
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DeleteLoneliness is the most human feeling felt by us. I know I have during the times I have travelled abroad solo… the time I fainted alone in the separate toilet stall in my hotel room on the first midnight in Tokyo in June 2025; the time when my asthmatic self suffered from the flu during Christmas when I was on a solo 2-week trip in wintery Paris 🇫🇷 and the Parisian medical staff told me in French to go away as we could hardly understand each other and they were on strike yet again…
ReplyDeleteIt’s okay to have these feelings. I also called my married best friend to tell her I was wishing I had someone to take care of me. I remember a mutual friend of ours whom also expressed loneliness and she also worried about who would take care of her in old age… sadly, she passed on quite young in her fifties due to her sudden illness.
But there’s also that feeling of freedom, adventure & independence that have moved us to make our journeys alone. And when we feel satisfied & empowered when we succeed on what we set off to do, without having to wait on anyone while time passes by making us wonder if we would ever achieve our dreams of travel, we look back and think I am so glad I made that journey during that time of my life, as who knows when we can have those experiences again.
Humans are not made to be one-dimensional, we can have a myriad of feelings and we go through different stages of our lives; I also find those feelings of loneliness tend to be temporary as they are tempered with feelings of wonder as we encounter moments and sceneries that make everything truly worth it - we quench our thirst for a taste of life.
xoxo
DeleteZ.....You stepped away from what was familiar and discovered your own strength. You learned to stand independently without resentment, stopped expecting others to pause their lives for you, and chose to reassure yourself instead. Though it’s exhausting, you continue to move forward with resilience and determination.
ReplyDeleteYou know the months ahead will be tough, yet you’re choosing kindness, faith, and less negativity. You’re holding on to gratitude for the people who show up, even briefly, and for the small things that keep you from falling apart.
Most of all, you’re learning to breathe through this journey, even when you’re alone. And as your friend, I just want you to know you’re not weak for feeling this way. You’re strong for continuing anyway. I’m really proud of you. 💛💛💛💛💛
Thank you💜
DeleteReading your thoughts and experiences of going solo in life makes me think of tennis. No matter who your coach is and the amount you train. You still have to play the game on your own. Coaches are like parents. They can guide you, nurture you but ultimately every day you will have to face the challenges of life on your own when you become an adult. Its their guidance that made you this strong independent human being.Yes its a bummer when you on your own and there is no safety net. That is what gives one the urge and will to succeed. Remember you are never alone cos the Almighty will always be looking over you. And people like myself will always look up to you.....
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DeleteAunty Z…. We all get that loneliness feeling sometime. We need to be mindful that it’s a passing cloud. We need to embrace it and wait for it to pass. While it’s a common norm for us to put our big girl panties on and keep progressing… we are still vulnerable and I sometimes wait for those random calls from you and 2am thoughts. With regards to the secondary teachers, we worry with you, we living those moments with you. And I am certain the almighty will give you something better than what you currently have, and with your big and kind heart you will offer me and my family free accommodation wherever you are so that we can come explore that part of the world. These reflections you write about is purely from a deep place in your heart and it is so admirable, true and honest. Well written… so proud of you… love you lots
ReplyDeleteMuch lovexx
DeleteThat’s a really honest and quietly powerful piece of writing. What stands out is how grounded it feels…not overly dramatic, not pretending everything is perfect, but still choosing strength anyway. That line about “I expect nothing and get me in return” hits deep… it shows a shift from depending on others to really owning your own emotional space, and that’s not easy.
ReplyDeleteI also like how the “lost” moments aren’t framed as failures, but as turning points. That’s real resilience… not the loud, motivational kind, but the kind where you just keep going, even when it’s heavy. And the way your friend acknowledges the people who do show up, without taking them for granted, adds a lot of sincerity.
The ending feels especially strong…not because everything is solved, but because there’s acceptance. “Breathing…it’s gonna be ok” sounds simple, but after everything described, it carries weight.
To me, it reads like someone who is learning to stand on their own without becoming hard, still choosing kindness, still holding faith. That balance is rare, and very real.
Appreciate you stopping by🤍
DeleteSounds paradoxical but a feeling of loneliness creeps in even in great company and gatherings. And for a while you're not there but there.But Alhumdulillah this does not last forever.Allah has built within us da ability to overcome these emotions..although not easily at times.On da other hand Social butterflies are what they are ....by using their own mechanisms in dealing with this.
ReplyDeleteThank you🧡
DeleteYou are so brave and so unapologetically yourself and its really inspiring.
ReplyDeleteMeeting you, even just those few times, left such a positive impression on me.
I’m really glad our paths crossed. Keep going you’re doing better than you think.
xoxo
DeleteAlone but not lonely or can it be lonely in a thousand of faces and voices but never alone, what it mays, it take us to the ultimate outcome.. just you and the Almighty deep in the heart and vast in own mind. A lost phone may be an indicator to start unloading bits by bits to give way to your new chapter in life. Such is growth, it push you out of comfort, only to be a better and a stronger one than tomorrow. Your growth and adventure has given you a fresh perspective but more over it has empower all the other women and girls that it's okay.. it's okay to take an adventure.. it's okay to be alone.. because sometime (or every time), God pushes everyone aside until all that left is just you, your thought and the Almighty.
ReplyDeleteUA
Delete🙏🙏
DeleteUre a such an inspiration Z for always looking at the bright side of the world... Being able to travel solo... Its good that u have getaways before school reopen... To recharge and to build in the motivation that has been faded... Never lose the courage and eagerness in everything u love .. And never lost ur phone again... Hehe
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DeleteBeing alone (lonely) to me is not good, uncomfortable to say the least.
ReplyDeleteBut to be lonely and comfortable in your own skin, that in itself is a gift, a power.
It comes to a point where you stop waiting for that knock on the door and you actually start to enjoy your own company. Literally.
You have actually reached the "me" stage in life.
The happy stage i would say. You want to go somewhere, you go.
You want to do something, you just do it. You are your own master, make your own decisions.
Something that I have learnt in the last 10 years , don't be afraid or feel bad being alone because there comes a time when even your shadow deserts you.
Imagine being alone all day and night, but you are not literally alone. You just occupy a space. Nothing more.
Your time becomes invaluable. Nobody dares enroach on your time.
When you look back and think about it, you have outdone yourself. Outstanding.
Then there's the days where you look for your phone all over, only to realise after all the cussing and duas , that you are talking on your phone. But you say nothing , a sneaky smile-maybe.
You start feeling happy being alone. (Yes you hate the fact that you have nobody you can turn to, nobody to lean on, no shoulder to cry on ). Bottom line you are happy being you.
You do what you want , as I said earlier, holiday where you want.
You don't realise it but do you know how many people are "envious" of you, want to be what you are, do what you do?
You attain that monks solitude, peace. Planning your next getaway or maybe you will just wing it.
Want to eat something rich, gooey, unhealthy, sweet- hell yeah. You gonna do it. Nobody is gonna remind you how bad it is for you diabetes or health..
Me, I talk to my cat 🐈 and my bird. My cat says nothing, my parrot repeats what I say.
BLISSSSSSS.
🤲
DeletePowerful and honest. You’re choosing kindness, gratitude, and faith even in uncertainty—that takes real strength. The way you recognize the people who show up for you and the lessons in the small moments says a lot about your resilience. You may not have all the answers right now, but you’re moving forward with intention, positivity and strength! That’s what matters most. One step at a time, one day at a time, it will all come together the way it should.
ReplyDelete🙏🤍
Delete♥️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
ReplyDelete💜💜💜
DeleteYou have taught me that loneliness, while painful, can also carry quiet gifts. It creates space for self discovery and has helped me to understand my thoughts, needs, and purpose more deeply.
ReplyDelete🤲💜
DeleteIt is in those quiet moments when we sit and contemplate, we discover the immense inner strength we possess. You have come a long way and I always admire your strength and your peserverance to not let anything put you down. Remember you are never alone!
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteThis type of reflection is deep and pure. May Allah guide your heart and mind and deliver you with grace and mercy from one place to the next, physical and abstract ❤️ Ameen
ReplyDeleteAmeen ameen
DeleteThere are so many adventures ahead. When travelling solo you push yourself to meet others which opens your mind to possibilities. Your kindness and love for life shine through your eyes and heart. I'm lucky to call you a friend. I look forward to catching up with you to hear about this adventure. Nicki
ReplyDeleteThanks💜
DeleteI am so incredibly proud of you. Your thoughts demonstrate your growth, courage and trust in yourself.Even in moments of uncertainty, you chose bravery, and that speaks volumes about who you are. Always remember, everything is unfolding according to God's plan and God's perfect timing. Even when it seems unclear, God is guiding your every step, shaping your journey and strengthening your mind for what lies ahead. This journey is not by chance, it's part of something greater. So keep the faith, keep believing and keep moving forward. You are exactly where you are meant to be.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful phenomenal woman
ReplyDeleteIron sharpens iron.
Thank you for you.
We are strengthened in our weaknesses.
La Verne
❤️❤️❤️