I am amazing by JATHA PEDA

 

‘Woman, aint no other woman

for you in the whole world

I’m the only girl, girl, girl

Woman, aint no other other woman’

This song by Faouzia has a catchy tune and it is a powerful declaration of self-worth and confidence.

But…

Why do I cringe inside, when I think I have to think of myself this way? What? I can’t say this about myself!  She can do it; she is amazing and strong and independent… but me… I am not that woman.  No, never… not me…

Why do I find it so difficult to tell myself:

               ‘Girl, you are amazing!’

               ‘Woman you rock at what you do!’

               ‘Lady, you are a kind, attractive, brave soul!’

When I read this again, it almost sounds arrogant… or is it just me?

My mother… come to think of it, although I look up to her and think of her as a kindhearted, doting courageous woman, who will stop at nothing… had self-doubt issues. Still has, although she is over 80 and lived a full life and is still living it.

I heard her say: ‘I feel guilty for not being the best mother.’  In my mind I couldn’t believe she would say something like that, because she is a rock.  The slightest criticism would send her into a heap of self-doubt thinking about a thousand different ways she could have been better.  She thinks she is not good enough – never has been, never will be…

Both my sisters have self-worth issues.  I can’t wrap my brain around it though. Why? Why? Why?  The one is an extremely competent teacher who has carved out a life for herself in a foreign country, with an amazing family and children who are going places.  The other has a successful coffee shop, a beautiful clever son and a husband who will go to the ends of the earth for her.

Four, no, five of my best friends think they are not enough.

In my eyes they are spectacular women. 

They can change the world. They make the world a better place.  They are hard-workers, problem solvers, emphatic carers, and the best friends any girl can ask for.  I look up to them. I want to be them. I want to have what they have.

They don’t believe me when I tell them…

We … yes, it includes me…

We can’t say ‘I’ without adding a negative word into the sentence.

‘You look beautiful today!’

‘ Oh this old thing?’

‘What have you done with your hair? I love it?’

‘I washed it.’

‘I am amazed at what you have done!’

‘Really? I could have done so much better.’

Do you recognise yourself?  I do!

Why? Why do we put ourselves down? That is not normal behaviour – yet we all do it.

Why can’t we step away and be aware of our ‘amazingness’?

Didn’t we have strong women role models when we grew up?  Is it a generational thing?

Have you ever heard any woman commenting on how wonderful they are?

Wait… let me think…

…

…

Nope, nothing comes to mind. You?

Is it religion? Is it social media? Is it men? Society?

We pay counsellors to tell us: You are loyal, you are attractive, you are considerate, you are generous, you are diplomatic, you are graceful, you are benevolent!

And then we turn around and tell them: I don’t believe you.

I assume the pathways with negative self-affirmations in our brains have been walked on so many times, that it is a highway – a highway to negativity.

THIS MUST STOP

Take your thoughts captive. Every time. All the time. Every moment.

Tell yourself: NO MORE.

Tell your brain to stand down.

Twenty-one days.

That’s how long it takes to form a new habit.  Use the days of August wisely, girl. Get out of the hole of filth; climb out from the walls of negativity around yourself; break down every brick of ‘I am not enough’.

Replace it with new bricks.

BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE!

Who is with me?