Intimacy in the digital age

A Digital Mirage

At first glance, it seems we're more connected than any generation before us. We know what our first crush from primary school had for lunch. We can check in on friends across the globe with a few taps. We can even stalk the profile of that "baddie" we were hoping to know, only to realize we never really would...

But let's be honest: connection isn't the same as intimacy. A heart emoji isn't real affection. A double tap isn't listening. It's that fleeting hit of satisfaction from a hundred likes on a post about your day, sure, but it's not the profound relief of one friend truly hearing you out over coffee or sharing a curry (thanks, GIN.Z) and really seeing you.

Social media has handed us a glossy façade of relationships without the uncomfortable, messy, beautiful vulnerability that actually makes them real. We scroll through highlight reels, silently comparing our own lives to everyone else's picture-perfect presentations. We start believing we know people, when really, we're only familiar with the carefully edited versions they've chosen to share. It gets even stranger when people start performing their vulnerability itself for the camera, sobbing giant tear, mascara running looking deep into the camera to mimic devastation at a break-up, or a Karen-attack, an artfully disheveled picture uploaded, a caption about "healing from trauma" that feels more like a script, a reel tagged #selflove…

In this climate, realness becomes another piece of content and those raw, tender moments that once belonged to whispered confidences or late-night conversations are now filtered, formatted, and sensationalized to feed into the algorithm to gain popularity and dopamine hits.

Is it any wonder, then, that real-world connection feels riskier, clumsier, and more like hard work than it used to? Picture how awkward it would be meeting up on a first date after you've breezed through hours of online banter and flirtation on Snapchat where he got to see more of you than your gynae, or the way a serious conversation suddenly feels like a heavy weight when you're used to quick abbreviated texts “WYD?” and easy emojis. This digital proximity has made face-to-face intimacy feel unfamiliar, even daunting. And without the habit of truly showing up for each other, it's just so easy to retreat further into the comforting, controllable safety of our screens.

I’m rejecting this new normal, and opting for old-fashioned, in-your-face, no filters or boundaries, a breath away- kind of intimacy. The kind where his finger strokes my palm, his warm breath tantalizes my ear, and when we lock eyes, we both know what’s going down next. I’m for the sloppy kisses and the tight hugs… 

Keep your xoxo, I want mine warm, real and messy!