HOW TO...

If you’re trying to impress me, don’t do it with YOUR FIT. Do it with YOUR FEELINGS. Don’t do it with a SIX-PACK; touch all SIX SENSES. Don’t do it with flowery WORDS and SENTIMENTS; do it with ACTIONS, loud and bold. Don’t just listen passively... do it by hearing, deeply, and show that you’ve understood by changing your vibe to suit me.

I am telling you exactly how I want my partner to show up. It’s not complicated, though it may look like a procedural masterpiece filled with nuance. In truth, it’s the simplest things. It comes down to the five F’s: Feed me. F#k me. Friend me. Favor me. Fight for me. These are not shallow demands, they’re coordinates for intimacy, survival, laughter, loyalty, and strength. They are ways of showing up, consistently, with presence and proof.

So let’s strip away the clichés and get real about what it means. Here’s how:

1. Feed Me

It is about more than food

Bring me a humble breakfast on a porch after a dawn walk. Brew tea in a thermos, slice bread, and let the silence do the heavy lifting. That’s nourishment: not just taste on my tongue, but soul in my bones. Feed me not only with meals but with thoughtfulness, with feasts of flavours &favours, with the kind of attention that leaves me full long after the cup is empty.

2. F#k Me

 Touch more than skin

Don’t reduce it to physicality. Touch all six of my senses: sight, sound, taste, smell, touch, and the elusive sixth...attunement. Let me feel you shift your rhythm to meet mine. Let intimacy be bold, messy, holy, funny, reverent, and irreverent. To f*#k me is to be unafraid of the layers, to give energy that reaches every nerve ending and still lingers in the quiet after.

3. Friend Me

Be present, playful, real

A friend doesn’t just nod along; a friend hears. They reflect back, they adjust, they adapt. Be that: someone who takes my words and changes your vibe in response. Someone who sits beside me while I draft lesson plans, slides a finished worksheet into my bag, and says, “I handled this for you.” Someone who knows when to bring music and when to turn the world off. Friendship is presence without pretense.

4. Favor Me

Be aware of my needs & wants

True favour is forethought. It’s leaving me a “Dear Nariman” note folded with courage and a concrete next step already in motion. It’s showing up with coffee and competence, not promises. It’s practical help wrapped in affection. It’s the quiet relief of knowing I don’t carry it all alone because you noticed, you acted, and you delivered.

5. Fight For Me

Stand beside me when it counts

Not every battle is mine to fight alone. Sometimes I need someone who will step forward when others step back, who will call out the disrespect, who will say, “She’s not alone in this.” Fight for me doesn’t always mean conflict, sometimes it means fighting for my peace, my time, my rest. Sometimes it means putting boundaries in place I shouldn’t have to explain twice. Show me you’ll protect what matters to me, even when it costs you comfort.

 These are not luxuries. They are the building blocks of how I want to love and be loved. Grand gestures and polished lines don’t move me, simple, deliberate, embodied acts do. Feed me at dawn, touch me beyond the body, be my true friend in the thick of it, favour me with actions that speak louder than vows, and fight for me when it matters most.

This is the language of love as I understand it. It’s procedural, yes...but it’s also primal. It’s the humble brilliance of showing up in the smallest ways that add up to everything.