Forever & ever GingerZ & I

Time Share Partners: A New Way to Think About Partnership

Following on from a previous post...

I’ve been thinking: in today’s world, where time is our most precious commodity, isn’t it more practical to think of partnership not as possession, but as shared experience?

A time-share model, if you will, thanks GingerZ...

A New Perspective by GingerZ

“In today's time isn't it easier to have someone, not on a full-time but on a part-time basis where there is no bread and milk issues just moments of sanity when needed, a date here and there and good unadulterated conversations and of course that feeling of fun and adventure

How is that too much to ask for ...

I don't understand the need to habitate together... the need to be in each other's face space all the goddam time .... why can't it be simpler easier less complicated

Life is becoming increasingly challenging

Money is the main root of fights and arguments and lies

So why not obviate all that and be honest of exactly what we need and why ...

Now I can't be the only one who thinks this way

But then I step back and I realise now I know why I am alone... happily alone

So that's what I need .... decided”


And as usual, GingerZ got me thinking...

I’ve reached a point where I question the need for constant companionship.

Also, why must partnership be bogged down by daily logistics: who’s buying the bread, who forgot the milk, who’s snoring too loud? These niggles are romance killers for sure.

What if partnership didn’t have to mean proximity but presence ... fleeting, intentional, and energizing? Time well spent, and enjoyed by both parties? A date here, a deep conversation there, a weekend of laughter and connection... and then back to your own space, your own rhythm, your own peace.

I’m not anti-love. I’m anti-crowding.

Life is noisy enough; why invite more chaos in?

I crave connection, not cohabitation.

Moments, not maintenance.

I’m done talking about dishes and dinners.

I crave desire and delight.

Followed by departure and peace.

But what if you are in a long-standing partnership? How do you navigate space so that you are guaranteed your own?

Is this selfish? Maybe.

But eventually both parties do  come around to the idea of personal space within a co-habitation set-up (without anyone feeling trapped).

Together, Apart

Partnership used to mean everything under one roof: the kids, the bills, the noise, the same arguments recycled over time.

Now, with grown children and the quiet settling in, I’ve learned that even within marriage, solitude and space are a partnership-saver.

Try becoming partners of a different sort: he has his hobbies and friends, I have mine, and we have some shared ones as well. We orbit the same home but live in independence and inter-dependence together.

It works because we’ve learned that love is not constant closeness; it’s comfortable distance.

Maybe that’s the evolution of partnership, not ownership, not dependency, but the freedom to exit and return to each other for love’s sake.

So Maybe Partnership Today...

...isn’t about building a shared life in one space.

It’s about sharing time intentionally and respectfully, with no illusion of forever after or control.

Whether you’re happily single or decades into marriage, maybe the modern version of love is simply this: the art of not suffocating the person you care about.

Comments

  1. Anti crowding and together apart ... that's where trust comes in and boundaries need to be set

    One has to be sure of their partner, their voice their own wants and needs

    Its a dangerous road and a fine line between right and wrong

    And still I crave that apart together and even if it doesn't make sense to you it resonates with me

    Again here I speak from my own thoughts.

    Any takers ....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I definitely agree that we are all different and we must each find what works for us.

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    2. Different or evolved

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    3. The demands of society, career and family commitments drive that course of our lives. Experiences allow us to grow either to conform to society norm or we can pave a path where we can create our own future and our own norms. There is nothing wrong with have a partnership based on what is best for people who choose to live their together but independent. Personally I want to grow with my partner, share the pains and joys. After all experiences that take us out of our comfort zone and challenge our own narrative, grows a person in character and maturity. I respect your narrative but believe as you age a person by your side is the great asset.

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  2. Beautifully articulated ,this captures the quiet maturity of love that’s often overlooked.

    True connection isn’t about constant proximity, it’s about choosing each other freely, again and again, without the weight of possession.

    The shift from dependency to deliberate companionship feels like one of the highest forms of emotional evolution , love that breathes, not binds.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Different and evolved - what a marvellous group of people coming together to discuss matters relevant to our wellbeing♡

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    2. It's good to have a space where one can for their thoughts and be validated for hving them n it's ok to be different or not fit in the norm.. relationships have developed and roles have been reversed f0r many ...

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    3. And no judgement here, we are all doing our best hopefully with kindness and generosity and a great sense of humour♡

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  3. Such honesty in your words, it doesn’t sound like a lecture or theory, it sounds like a sigh of realization. Like someone who’s lived it, thought about it, and finally made peace with what they truly need.

    What I love most is how this piece gives permission. Permission to want space, permission to not follow the traditional script, permission to love differently. That’s powerful, because so many of us are still untangling ourselves from the idea that love must mean living under the same roof, doing the same routines, or being “joined at the hip.”

    “I’m not anti-love. I’m anti-crowding.” — that’s such a gem. It’s punchy and deeply relatable.

    Maybe love isn’t about finding someone to live with —
    but finding someone you can still breathe beside.

    Hum Saath Saath Hain
    Love you Z

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U get me Syiff.... it's about being comfortable in one's own skin enuf to walk beside one another and yet live together apart ...

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  4. It has been said that marriage is an institution. They don't go into details or really explain.

    Marriage is LIKE an institution.
    the one where you are placed
    When you go cuckoos.

    The best drivers are born out of such institutions. They become so good at driving you up the wall or nuts.

    A lot of people who are married are actually just in a partnership but living in denial.

    What would you call or how would you describe a marriage that has the following daily sequence.

    Hubby- unwillingly unemployed.
    Wife working or in a business.

    Hubby is alone for 8 hours whilst wife is at work.

    Wife' gets home. Then its call centre time. Let's check up on family - first Ayesha, Shaida, Mariam, Zarina , and dont forget Fathima.

    All good, it's all close family members.

    Then convo goes to Rabia, Zainub,
    Sumaya, Amina. Then you get into the spicy bits. You know what Ayesha said about Shaida. And you know Shaidas daughter is such a flirt. She put her hand on my husband's and was looking directly into his eyes and talking to him.

    Yeah right, what must she look at and talk to him

    By the end of the hour everyone's mother, sister , hubby, S.I.L, M I.L and even F.I.L and even how some ones maid dresses.

    All that in an hour. Must be some kinda Guiness record.

    Conversation turns to what hubby cooked for supper.

    Normal routine re:supper is like:

    "Whats you cooked for supper?"

    Hubby "mince , potatoes and peas."

    Wife, "and what about all the left over food from yesterday?"

    Going back to hubby answer to what was cooked and let's just say hubby said, "i didn't cook we hardly touched yesterday's chicken curry."

    Wife, "what were you doing all day,, even cooking something is such a problem ."

    Okay that said.

    Post supper.

    It's social media time.

    Face book and tik tok and even instagram are such a waste of
    time .

    That's when they in other families
    or friends company .

    Reality sets in post supper .

    First we catch up on Facebook, then instagram half an hour later, followed by tik tok 20 mins later.

    Hubby's finished watching 2 episodes of a series in that time.

    The witch.....ing hour approaches.
    Something possesses the wife.

    She's seated in the lounge, exhausted from the talking and the heavy burden of holding the phone Whilst juggling call centre time with the stresses of social media. And eating amidst all of that, exhaustion sets in.

    All you see is the head up in a seated position on the couch, followed by deadly sounding grunts obviously caused by the exhaustion.

    Then the head falls to the chest and just as quickly as it falls, as if by magic or even demonic possession, the head jumps up again.

    A quick look around to see if hubby's looking.

    He acts as if he's looking at his phone and didn't notice a thing.

    After a few hundred repeats of the demonic possession ritual, its bed time.

    Thirty seconds after that its lights out and that scary grunts and groans emitted from the throat/mouth hauntingly start again until prayer time.

    That's a bit too much I think , for now.

    Maybe I will do a part 2 to part five in the near future.

    YOU CAN DECIDE WITH JUST THE ONE EXAMPLE WHETHER PARTBRRS IN A RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE 💑 .

    Toodles



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  5. Then y stay .... everyone deserves happiness and that sort of living isn't living and if that means to be single and looked at .. then single and lookd at I will be

    I need real

    I need raw

    This is why I move towards a part time some time real partner

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  6. Do we become complacent as we get older or just give in ....

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