Rawness GingerZ
We try to make ourselves ok with what life has dealt us.. We try to make sense of our everydays that no one knows about.. We try to remain calm when we told u r strong, when actually we r failing dismissally...
And yet thru it all, we rise, we roll out of bed, do what needs to be done and embrace the unknown that is so unknown that we space out for mili seconds...
I find myself sitting in a room of colleagues and having no idea what they are saying, not because it's in Turkish ... Mainlyso... But because there is an information overload and a fear that I am unknowing of what is next...
To feel this unstable and shaky is scary daunting and down right unnerving....
So when I am asked... What are your plans for today.. In my head I say to survive... To everyone else idk as yet.. It's what they want to hear and I can't share my thoughts as once I utter them.. They will become real.
I look at everyone's IG or fb or statuses and think I was once like u.. I had my life in order... I had knowing...
Maybe I am being punished for not appreciating what I was so blessed with or maybe... Idk
So a month into Turkiyé... I think timing is everything and I think processing is needed...
I know this step had to be taken. I know that sooner or later I would have had to.
So counting blessings, being patient with me, being grateful for small things and even more for the bigger ones, trusting the Almighty blindly is strengthening my faith and hoping for contentment.
What do any of us need... Duas
Thank you to those who check up on me, sorry if I don't reply as u want me to, I promise I will get there.. Just not yet
I read this today...
If u made someone smile u didn't fix the problem but u helped ...
It's going to be ok!
I am proud of all that you are and continue to be! Keep on keeping on, even on the days when you feel like giving up. You are strong, brave and without a doubt, a fierce woman of faith and resilience!
ReplyDeleteThank u Clairetjie...
DeleteInsha Allah, Zo; we take things one day at a time, baby steps…with du’a & Allaah’s blessing…May you always be in God’s protection and guidance, Aamiin 🤲🏻 🫂💜🪷
ReplyDeleteThank you Peachah... Slowly
DeleteSometimes surviving the day is all we can do🤲
ReplyDeleteMay Allah grant ease to your heart, replace your uncertainty with peace and guide you towards something even more beautiful.
You make me believe .. And aameen to your duas
DeleteBeautifully raw and very real. Sometimes surviving the day is enough. And the way you’ve put that feeling into words,quietly, without pretending,is powerful. May Allah make the unknown easier to carry. 🤍
ReplyDeleteIt's a lot and me being quiet...
DeleteAs always - you are so real, Z. Keep going, take one day at a time - it can only get better. Always sending love and prayers. Thank you for being an inspiration and blessing
ReplyDeleteI carry your words...
DeleteIn all difficulty there's ease...not just a saying but absolute truth from our Lord. Eyes open...it's there. You got this!
ReplyDeleteEyes wide shut... I will glimpse
DeleteEase will surely come..
DeleteWith full belief and faith I say this, you got this, Zo...and on the days when you are doubtful, you got me, always and everyone here, family and friends that are patiently waiting for you to find steadiness once more...till then, sending love and duas
ReplyDeleteGinger Z
DeleteFor you who gave me a voice a space to share my rawness my realness.. So much for saying no one will know who GingerZ is... We surpassed that clock and dagger and out in the open we speak rant vent rave.. I love u from then and will forever be ur support.. I am blessed you have a soul like u in my life.. It's been 8 years...
DeleteAllah Taaala grant you ease and make each day better than the previous one آمين يارب العالمين
ReplyDeleteTalk to Allah Taaala and He will comfort you
It's in all of u.... I get thru
DeleteAlways be yourself. Look up ahead and do whatever pleases you. Struggle now, survive later. Kindness all the way. Slowly but surely you will get there. Sending love and duas
ReplyDeleteI remember meeting u for the first time.. Ur warmth. .. Ur smile Cg made me feel like it was gonna be ok... Tq for that ..
DeleteI remember meeting u for the first time.. Ur warmth. .. Ur smile Cg made me feel like it was gonna be ok... Tq for that ..
DeleteTouching , really.
ReplyDelete❤️ I wish I could give you a big hug and take away some of the uneasiness you’re carrying.
It's not easy picking up everything at 40 something and going to a foreign country.
You did Brunei and ended up loving it your second first home.
You need not apologize for not responding or replying fast enough or short, curt replies.
Even the one worders.
you’re trying your best, and sometimes simply getting through the day is more than enough. Those days become weeks before you know it , they become months and then years.
Don’t compare your journey to what you see on social media. Your story is yours, and Allah knows every fear, every thought and every silent struggle you carry. 🤲
You are very special to me, and I want you to know that I’m here — without judgement, without expectations and without you ever needing to explain yourself.
Take your time, breathe, pray and take one day at a time. And whenever it feels too much, remember that someone is thinking of you, making duas for you and genuinely cares about you. ❤️🤲
You don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here. Always. ❤️
Friend going anywhere in the world, even going to your own country is no child's play. You are so brave for going into the unknown and taking a leap of faith. I am in awe of you and so proud of you. Keep on taking it one step at a time and one day at a time. You are doing well. Love Thabisa
ReplyDeleteIt’s the toughest thing starting over 😢 💔 .. one day everything will be normal and nothing with be new and then you’ll be settled at school. It’s a long journey to that but you’re not alone ✨🌸 lots of love, from Baku
ReplyDelete