Rawness GingerZ

We try to make ourselves ok with what life has dealt us.. We try to make sense of our everydays that no one knows about.. We try to remain calm when we told u r strong, when actually we r failing dismissally... 

And yet thru it all, we rise, we roll out of bed, do what needs to be done and embrace the unknown that is so unknown that we space out for mili seconds... 

I find myself sitting in a room of colleagues and having no idea what they are saying, not because it's in Turkish ... Mainlyso... But because there is an information overload and a fear that I am unknowing of what is next... 

To feel this unstable and shaky is scary daunting and down right unnerving.... 

So when I am asked... What are your plans for  today..  In my head I say to survive... To everyone else idk as yet.. It's what they want to hear and I can't share my thoughts as once I utter them..  They will become real. 

I look at everyone's IG or fb or statuses and think I was once like u.. I had my life in order... I had knowing...  

Maybe I am being punished for not appreciating what I was so blessed with or maybe... Idk

So a month into Turkiyé... I think timing is everything and I think processing is needed... 

I know this step had to be taken.  I know that sooner or later I would have had to. 

So counting blessings, being patient with me, being grateful for small things and even more for the bigger ones, trusting the Almighty blindly is strengthening my faith and hoping for contentment.

What do any of us need... Duas

Thank you to those who check up on me, sorry if I don't reply as u want me to, I promise I will get there.. Just not yet 

I read this today... 

If u made someone smile u didn't fix the problem but u helped ... 

It's going to be ok!