PART 3 Menopause Survival Tips

To be clear, I didn’t glide into menopause. It wasn't a gradual change. It was something much more invasive rather like I was suddenly stumbling through life, lost in a maze, mildly panicked at all times. I had no clue what was happening to me, and the sadness settled deeply in my bones, making me question everything in my life.

But I made it through five years without HRT, and while I don’t have all the answers, I’ve collected a few survival strategies that have kept me upright, sane-ish, and occasionally fabulous.

Here are the tools in my Menopause Survival Kit, relocation, or the sudden desire for a fringe, might be required:

1. Don’t sweat the small stuff

Be kind and forgiving to yourself first. It allows you to handle everything from the heat to your lack of libido and the yearning for its return.

Also, tell them (your people) what’s up, and have them as your backup for every possible scenario from fanning you off to bringing the tissues and ice cream mid-meltdown, to reinventing your sex life to accommodate new developments.

2. Embrace the Power Nap

Listen: if my body wants to shut down for 20 minutes at 2:14 PM, I’m letting it. If the opening credits of any or all movies send me to La-La Land, I’m sleeping with that remote in my hands.

Productivity is great. But so is a siesta on the couch in my hubby’s tee.

3. Walk. Dance. Stretch. Shake it off.

I don’t run marathons. I amble, saunter, wander around aimlessly. Sometimes I dance through the house, headphones on, Sauti blasting, unlocking wild Nariman...every bone remembering every dance… the slow ones with him at The Galaxy, the disco dancing of the 80s with Clarence in his white suit leading the way, and the Cubana jolling with Charlene to “boots with the fur… la la la.”

Move your body...it reminds you of a time when everything was still working, and he could bend you over balconies like a pretzel.

4. Find the Funny—or Make It

I laugh at myself a lot now. When you wake up, arse in the air, sheets discarded, and your husband is clinging to the last inch of the mattress… slap his butt to remind him who’s boss in bed. And tickle him in that sensitive spot just above his knee even when he scowls at you through sleep-laden eyes.

5. Supplements, Schmupplements—Find What Works

I take nothing… religiously. Why? I have no idea. Do I think it’s a placebo? No! But my gynae once said, delay taking HRT until your symptoms become unmanageable and affect how you function.

And then I just never did because I function. My GP recommended I get my vitamins and minerals from food, as the body has to learn how to process synthetics, which isn't ideal.

So, I don’t.

But I am now asking anyone who’ll listen: am I missing out on feeling more alive?

6. Say No Without Apology

If it drains me, bores me, or makes me want to scream into a cushion, I’m out. If your red flag is the colour of blood, it’s a no from me.

Menopause gave me the gift of IDGAF energy. I now protect my peace like it’s the last piece of sugared mebos left from Cape Town.

7. Celebrate the Small Wins

Made it through a day without cussing at anyone? Win.

Found your glasses on your own head? Win.

Didn’t threaten divorce during a hot mess episode? Big win.

Celebrate it all. Marvel at your self-restraint, and treat yourself to one of your favourite indulgences.

8. Have “That Friend”

You need at least one person you can text, “Men!” and they reply, “Still…” (insert swear word here).

Menopause is less scary when it’s shared.

9. Moisturise Like You’re Prepping for Battle

Face. Elbows. Knees. And yes, there, too. Dryness is real, but so is coconut oil. And castor oil can work wonders...

10. Remember Who the Hell You Are

You’ve survived breakups, betrayals, job frustrations, childbirth (or cramps that deserved a medal), and the nonsense of your twenties. This is just another chapter, not your finale.

So yeah, menopause is a lot. But so am I.

And so are you.

We’re not withering. We’re weathered and wildly alive.

Wishing you clarity, cool nights, and zero surprise chin hairs in the meantime.

And don’t forget to share the survival tips that work for you!